Saturday, August 4, 2012 LAF MGV
Quads/Abs/HC
Leg Press: 180x10x4, 270x8x3
Squat: 45x15, 95x12, 155x6x3
Leg Extension: 55x12x3
Sissy Squat: 12x3
Abs: Crunches SS Bicycle
Cardio: 30 minutes on the bike, stretch, posing practice
Injuries: tendonitis in my right elbow/forearm, but it has
not hindered my weight work thankfully – just sore.
Sissy squats – body weight and giant set with ab work. This
time I raised my heel on a platform – forgot about that technique.
Got 7.5 hours of sleep, but did wake up half way through.
Feeling pretty good after 3 k-cups of coffee this morning. Last night was rough. I was hungry and very
cranky and very preoccupied with food.
I did my squats barefoot since I forgot to bring in my flat
sneakers and the Pumas are not comfortable for squats and deads.
The sled for deadlifts is +118.
Sunday, August 5, 2012 LAF MGV
Chest/HC
Slight Incline DB Press: 20x10x3, 30x6x3
Flat Bar Press: 45x12, 65x10, 85x8x3
Chest Dips: 15x1, 12x2
Incline DB Press: 25x12x3
Cardio: HIIT 12x20 on spin bike and stretch
Good energy today, 8 hours of sleep. I was feeling good this
morning and I only had 1 k-cup of coffee. I feel like I am moving quickly
through the workout – at least I perceive I am. My right elbow is still sore
today.
Slight incline press – solid reps at 30 lbs.
Monday, August 6, 2012 LAF WAR
Back/Calves/HC
Lat Pulldown Wide: 60x10, 75x10, 90x8, 105x6x3
DB Bent Row: 20x10x2, 45x8, 20x10
Close Row: 75x12x3
Bent Over Row: 95x15x3
Calf Raises: 100x15, 140x15, 160x15, 180x15x3
Cardio: 30 minute bike
Smith machine calves
I am sleepy today despite 7 hours of sleep and I only woke
up once. I have a headache right now. I feel like crap and I don’t want to be
here anymore. I have volunteering later and it is going to take everything I
have got. Tomorrow is a super busy day. No posing practice because I am working
with you tomorrow and I just want to get out of here. This workout is taking
forever. I was also hungry from the start of the workout – which I hate. I had
1.5 k-cups of coffee and that did nothing for me. UGH!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012 LAF MGV
Shoulders/Hams/Abs/MC
DB Press: 15x10x3, 30x5, 15x10
Bar Shrug: 75x12, 95x10, 135x8, 95x12
Front Raise: 20x12x3
SS Rear Delt Raise: 12x12x3
Glute Hams: 20x4
Leg Curl: 30x10, 75x10, 35x12
Abs: Combo crunches SS torso twists. 20x4
Cardio: HIIT 12x20 on spin bike, stretch, posing practice
with Joe – tweaks made.
Leg curl – seated variety as this is the gym that does not
have lying leg curl, which is BS in my book, but whatever.
“Goodbye strength” – quoting Jimmy D Bucco on FB. Yep. My
strength is gone and the last thing I want to do is be at the gym right now,
which is why I decided to split the cardio from the weights today. I have not
been doing that because of how busy I am and also because I just want to be
done with the gym already. No more!!!! I feel like I am going stark raving mad.
I am complete drained and this morning I woke up with a pain in my lower left
abdomen. I felt so sick. I massaged it out though and got on with the day. This
was by far the toughest day of all since I started the prep. I had some shaky
ones, but this is the one where I actually said to myself, “I quit”. And I had
to sit there and say to myself again, “No you don’t. Not 17 days out. You did
all this work. You have your suit. You are ready. You can do this.” I really
began to question what the point was and why would I do this to myself.
I had a really good session with my psychologist. She told
me I was a role model for other women with my healthy self body image. I told
her how strangers and other people I even know – including women comment on how
great I look. This irritates me. I don’t look good. I look sick. I want to
scream at them, “Don’t you know what I have to go through to look like this???
What’s wrong with you???” I look at other women who are softer and think to
myself, “Gee, she looks so strong and healthy. I look deathly.” Yes, I look
great according to Hollywood standards. I look great according to magazines,
but this is no life. I miss feeling strong and healthy. I look forward to
regaining my weight and being healthy again. I look forward to eating regular
meals again and not counting things every day. I look forward to the freedom of
choosing what ever I want and going to restaurants.
I am going to try and hang onto this feeling – or at least
remember it while I go through the rebound. I need it to remind myself to not
get attached to this look. This is not the real me. The real me is softer,
stronger, and healthy. The thought of moving is fun – not a chore. Food is a
joy and not the enemy.
She said we had the same conversation 2 years ago right
around the same time, but this time I spoke with more conviction about how
unhealthy and disconnected I felt from myself. She recommended that I think
about what I want out of this sport in the future, after I have recovered. This
as something I will think about. I suspect I will be on stage again in the
future as I do like the day of the show and I do have a competitive nature –
plus it is fun to see my growth and strength progress from show to show.
I wish I were more excited like I was last time. I am not
sure why I am not this time. I mean, yeah, I am looking forward to the big day
and showing off my hard work. I am looking forward to getting up there and
doing my best. But something is circulating in the background and I have not
quite figured it out yet. Perhaps when the day comes I will be more excited.
This happens from time to time when I have a big event coming up or something
happening. I keep myself busy until the day of and then I get all jazzed. I
think I will be more excited once we hit peak week and I get to do different
things.
Thankfully, I am getting 20 more carbs per day. I am also
getting more cardio (HIIT 15x20 every other day), but that is ok because cardio
at this point is so easy at the max level on everything. I am a cardio machine
at this point. Plus all cardio will be done on the bike, which is A-okay by me.
My body does not want to run right now anyway or do anything else but the bike.
I am looking forward to waking up and eating food.
It was also check in day today and I am still at 121.0 I
suppose no change is a good thing though, rather than going up. Waist at 26.25,
Hips at 33, chest still at 35.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012 LAF MGV
Arms/MC
BB Curl: 20x12x3, 50x6, 20x15
Alternating DB Curl: 20x8x3
Concentration Curl: 15x12x3
Triceps Dips: 35, 20x2
Rope Pressdown: 45x12x3
Reverse Press: 45x12x3
No cardio today woo hoo!!! Did the HIIT yesterday and
according to the new plan I get to do it tomorrow. Fine by me as that is ALL I
have to do tomorrow – besides posing practice.
Rope and reverse press downs done on the smaller LifeFitess
tower with the lighter option.
Triceps dips done on the bench with feet raised. I just
did30 second rest breaks and kept going until I could no long go.
I stepped on the scale today out of curiosity and I am at
119.8 lbs. Wow. I have not been in the teens since I was 19 actually – and that
was not done in a healthy way.
And I feel great today. What a difference a little food can
make. I powered right on through this workout and I was moving like lightening
with my daily activities – no more sludge feeling while trying to cook or do
stuff. YAY! Love that. It is these little things that make me feel like I am
alive. Amazing.
I had only 7 hours of broken sleep despite taking a sleeping
pill last night. It took 3 hours to kick in too. I think I actually ended up
forcing myself to give into it. I would rather not increase the dosage to be
honest. I took one the night before too because yesterday was a busy day and it
had to start early.
I practice the tweaks from posing and I think I have this
down. I am trying to get more confident with it. I was really nervous about it
today.
No comments:
Post a Comment